I haven’t written a personal post in a long time. I’ve still been writing, but it’s been about specific things like reviews. It’s hard to pinpoint why I’ve not felt the urge to get my thoughts down on paper (as it were). The longer it goes on, the stranger it seems.
It definitely started with the first lockdown, all those months ago in March. I hated every minute of it. I worked from home the whole time, which was a blessing and a curse. Yes I’m incredibly fortunate to have a secure job, but I had to hand over the homeschooling reins to my husband. It was him that got to have water fights in the garden and trips to the park for exercise, whilst I was inside hearing all the fun going on.
We have a tiny bit more freedom now, but still the inspiration isn’t coming. It feels that I’m just surviving. There seems to be so much to think about (and worry about) that by the time I sit down to write, I’m emotionally drained. It’s all the usual family stuff, with two kids at different schools, a nearly full time job and my son’s love of football. None of which I would swap for the world.
But add to that the daily worries of CV19. Will we catch it? What if our loved ones catch it? The rules and the changes of rules and the ever present threat of another lockdown and schools closing. I feel like I’m stuck in a constant state of preparedness – I’m bracing myself for a call from the school or a notification on my phone. We can’t plan more than a few days ahead, which for me is heartbreaking. I’m a complete control freak and there are big things out there that I can do nothing about.
I’m concentrating on keeping my family healthy, safe and most importantly, happy (hopefully). Which doesn’t leave a lot of brain space for much else. Lots of bloggers turn to copy writing services like Content Conga when they’re short of inspiration, and it can be a great stop gap option.
Perhaps also it’s because our circumstances are so unexpected and seem to change on a daily basis. I don’t think anyone is experiencing ‘normal’ behaviour from their children at the moment, and we don’t know what the future holds. It feels wrong to be writing about our family highs and lows, when so much this past year has been driven by the outside environment (or has it?!)
Anyhow, I’ll keep going, writing when I feel the urge. I need to stop putting pressure on myself to keep up with the world of blogging and social media. As a wise person once said, if your family is fed and not dead, you’re doing alright.